Cuddle Bug

Christmas was hard this year. We had to say goodbye to Harrison. We hadn't even had him for a year, but he crept into our hearts the very first day we took him home, it was hard not to fall in love with him despite how annoying he could be. We had to kick him out to the barn a couple months ago because he started pissing all over everything we owned. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, and so I took him into my work to check if he had a urinary tract infection, even though I was pretty sure he didn't since he would stand up and flick his tail as he peed all over the wall. Anyways, the results came back, no UTI, damn it! A UTI would have been easy to fix, but a behavior problem, not so much. I tried a nurture calm collar, which is a pheromone collar for cats that is supposed to help calm them. I swear by them for a couple of our other cats, but they didn't work for Harrison. So out to the barn it was. This was a sad moment as well since he was my cuddle bug. He was a good cuddle bug too. Things around the house became much calmer. He was no longer inside to run around the house like crazy at night knocking stuff down and no more Riley screaming in the middle night because of Harrison torturing her. It was kind of nice, but I still missed my baby boy. 

He would sit on the front porch and meow and meow and jump up on the windowsill  outside and stare in continuing to meow and meow. I would feel so bad for him and let him in, but after a little while he would go over to the wall and piss all over it. His favorite spot being the wall mounted heater that is right over the heating duct, which was the worst spot he could have chosen. The pee would go all over the heating elements and I would have to take the whole thing apart to clean it, but the worst part was the heating duct right below that all the urine would inevitably drip into. Mike had to get down on his stomach and reach his arm as far down in there as he could with a rag dipped in bleach and hot water to scrub it out. Thank goodness we were able to get the smell out of there, none the less Mike said no more letting Harrison inside. I felt bad for the guy, but I also didn't want our house reeking of cat piss, so there was no more letting Harrison inside. I made a point of it to go outside at least 3 times a day for at least 5 minutes each time just to hold and pet him, it was our "cuddle time". Eventually the meowing at the window got better, and I felt less and less bad for him. 

Then a couple of weeks ago I noticed he was breathing kind of funny and would sneeze and cough sometimes. I was a little worried, but I figured it wasn't anything serious since he was only a year and a half, and that it must have been that he wasn't used to the cold. About a week ago he no longer wanted me to hold him like a baby when I would spend our "cuddle time" together and thought nothing of it really, now it dawns on me that he probably had a hard time breathing in that position. Anyways, Christmas morning I went outside to take care of him and the other outside cats and the chickens, when I noticed him under the front porch coughing and screaming. That scream sounded like he was dying. This is when I knew something was wrong. He didn't want to come out from under the porch, but when he finally did I grabbed him and noticed how bad his breathing was. I took him inside, wrapped him in a towel, and sat by the wood stove with him trying to warm him up in hopes that it would help, and it did... a little. I sat with him for hours waiting for his breathing to get better, and contemplating what I should do. Normally I would have rushed into emergency without a second thought, but since I've been out of work for 20 weeks and have no pet benefits left I was in a pickle. Mike tried to convince me that he was getting better, which he was, but only minimally, and wanted to wait until the next day so we could take him to my work so we could pay less and be able to do more for him as far as how far our money would go. But I knew something was seriously wrong. Whenever I'd move or he'd get stressed out because of the dogs running around he would cough and turn a light shade of purple around the mouth and do a little bit of open mouth breathing. I talked to one of the Vets at my work via text message and she reinforced what I already knew, that I had to bring him in. So we got in the car and took him to emergency. He got so stressed out in the car he started open mouth breathing like crazy and I started to worry that we wouldn't make it in time. We did get there though, and they took him straight back to stabilize him. I hate emergency. Don't get me wrong, they do great work there and they are always very nice and caring, but you never take your animal there unless it's something serious. We were there almost exactly a year ago with Dexter when we had to put him down, and it just brings back horrible memories of that incident. I also have to work there 2 times a year to fill in on holidays, and I absolutely hate it. It's crazy and hectic and there are sick and dying animals all around. I could never work there full time, I can barely make it through an 8 hour shift! Anyways, we waited in the lobby for awhile and then they took us into the same room as last time with Dexter, which didn't help the situation, and we waited for the doctor. When she finally came in she told us that they were able to stabilize Harrison and that to do so they had to drain a bunch of fluid from his chest that they found with an ultrasound. She said that they had pulled off at least 200 mls of fluid from around his lungs, and that the fluid was sticky and had a lot of protein in it which lead her to believe that it was FIP (Feline Infectious Peritonitis), which is a a disease that most cats have come into contact with, but it is referred to as feline coronavirus unless it mutates. Most cats have no problem with it, but in a small percentage the virus mutates and becomes deadly, which is what happened to Harrison. There was nothing we could have done to prevent this and nothing we could have done other than to put him out of his misery. It was hard to say goodbye to him though since you could tell he was feeling much better without all the fluid around his lungs and with the pain medication they had given him, but we knew we had to. So we said our goodbyes to Harrison and put him to sleep. I held him and he purred the entire time, which made me happy to know he wasn't in pain anymore.

It won't be the same around here without you buddy. I will miss your meows at the window for attention and our "cuddle time". I am glad you got to spend your last hours inside where it was warm and I am glad I got to spend those last hours holding you. I am mostly glad that you are not in pain anymore, and am sorry it took me so long to realize there was something seriously wrong. I love you buddy, and hope you can forgive me as I try to forgive myself. I will never forget you. 

Love, Mommy. 

He loved boxes, but what cat doesn't?!

Look at those big eyes, who wouldn't fall in love with him?

My sweet boy

Merry Christmas

I've been going a little crazy the past few weeks getting everything ready for baby's arrival, I guess I'm nesting. I made Mike help me take everything we got for Audrey out of the boxes and put it all away. It felt like there was no room in the nursery with all the boxes, and I want the nursery to be ready when Audrey gets here (even though she won't be sleeping in there for at least the first 3 months). Anyways, the boxes stayed in there for the next week since we couldn't get rid of them until trash day. This drove me absolutely crazy! I was trying to make more room, but the empty boxes seemed to take up just as much space as when they had things in them, so I avoided going into the nursery at all costs until the boxes were gone. Mike has been trying to keep me calm and has been reassuring me that everything will be fine. He told me the other day that he wants to put a light up in the upstairs closet and to do so he needs to move everything into the baby's room, but that he didn't want to because he's afraid I might try to kill him in his sleep! I guess better now than when Audrey's here, so I'll just have to grin and bare it and avoid her room once again. You just never know when you're going to go into labor, and I want everything ready and in order before Audrey gets here, plus I'm a little OCD ;)

Speaking of never knowing when you're going to go into labor, I hope it's soon. Apparently Audrey has run out of room in my belly and is kicking me in between my ribs and causing some pretty painful muscle spams. I wasn't sure what I was experiencing, but Audrey was moving around normally so I wasn't too concerned, but after 18 hours with no relief I called my OB. They were concerned that it could be placental abruption so they had me go to the OB Triage at Strong and get checked out. After being hooked up to fetal monitors, a bunch of questions, and lots of uncomfortable poking and prodding from the attending residents they concluded that Audrey was fine, and that she must have just kicked me in my ribs causing a muscle spam. The nurses joked that Audrey needs to stop treating her mother so badly, that she needs to get out now, and that she deserves some spankings when she gets here (my mother-in-law agrees). Anyways, they told me I could take Tylenol and use heat for the pain, but since Tylenol does nothing for me, I just used heat, which just took the edge off. Three days later I was finally feeling better; I could breathe, bend down, and twist sideways without pain. That didn't last for long. The next day I was on my way to my Chiropractor and I could feel her do it again. It felt like she was flicking me in the ribs with her foot or perhaps more like she was playing the xylophone with my ribs. NOT AGAIN! As if the hip, SI joint, and round ligament pain was't enough, now we have to add muscle spams in my ribs to the list, ugh! I have decided the nurses are right, she needs to move out!

Mike and I waited until last minute to do pretty much everything this holiday season, so no holiday cards this year, but here are some Christmas pictures we took last week:

By the tree (our first artificial Christmas tree, we got tired of the cats trying to climb the real ones)

In front of the tractor with Harrison in the background pissed off we wouldn't let him inside to piss all over everything we own

Me at 34 weeks 4 days

6 more weeks to go

I am 34 weeks pregnant today. I only have 6 more weeks to go, and boy am I ready to be done being pregnant! Mike and I have been getting everything left that we need for Audrey over the past few weeks, so we are pretty much all set for her arrival. I convinced Mike that I needed a comfortable glider with the shape my hips and back are in, and so I found a gently used one on craigslist in Watkins Glen and we made a little day trip out of it and picked it up. It is very nice and extremely comfortable. I also sewed a window valance for Audrey's room, since the bedding set we got didn't have one that came with it and I couldn't find one that fit what I was looking for, which was for it to be nice and bright and colorful, so I decided to make my own. The only things we still need are: the baby monitor, the Ergo Baby Carrier, the fancy forehead thermometer so Mike and I don't have to stick a regular one up her butt, and more diapers (we're always going to need more of those!).

The Glider 

The Window Valance

I picked out Audrey's coming home outfits the other day; one in newborn size and one in 3 month size, just in case she's giant (if you know what's best for you Audrey, you better fit into those newborn clothes!). Now I just have to wash all her newborn and 3 month clothes so they're all ready for her when she arrives, and install the car seat, but I figure I still have some time for that. I also have to pack my hospital bag, which won't be hard. I've looked up tons of different lists of what you should include in your hospital bag, and to be honest some are just ridiculous. Some of them tell you to bring music and candles to relax you, some your own gown to wear during labor, others your own pillows and towels. Honestly I think it's just too much stuff to remember to bring and to remember to bring home with you. You're going to have a newborn baby to bring home with you, isn't that enough? Also I am not going to buy a gown specifically to wear during labor which is just going to get covered in tons of different bodily fluids and have to be thrown out anyways (who wants to bring that home to wash?!). I guess I kind of understand the bring your own pillows and towels because the hospital ones kind of suck, but why not just ask for more of them instead? Anyways, this is what will be in my hospital bag: shampoo and conditioner, body wash, a hair brush, toothbrush and toothpaste, a clean change of clothes to go home in, baby's coming home outfit, and obviously the car seat, which will already be installed in the car, Ta-Dah!

Newborn

Newborn

3 Month

3 Month